RTrizzle and the MIS-adventures in Sotho

Thank You

2004-12-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

I just want to say thank you to the great friends that showed up to support my big bro. Sally, Sheila, Jeremy and Brando, Thank you so much for coming. I know that it's not easy to go to something like that, but I know that it meant a lot to Ryan to see you there(I meant a lot to me also). I know more people would have shown up, but I tried to call and let people know and it is just something that I couldn't bring myself to leave a message about. It just goes to show what Sotho is all about(family and lifelong friends). Anyway, I went to dinner with Ryan and Jess last night and I think that there going to be fine. Jess is one of the toughest women I know, and although it's going to be hard for them, if anyone can make it through something a rough as this, it's Ryan and Jess. We got Ryan a guitar for his birthday so that he can sing to Madison. Seeing my big brother up there reading a letter to his daughter has got to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to see. But it was what needed to be done, and I just want to say, for what it's worth big bro, your little brother is proud of you, and I'm looking forward to the day that we are all dancing with the angels. IM OUT.

Madison Tracy

2004-12-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

Not feeling real great today, mom came and took me shopping and to lunch in the midst of all of the funeral preparations. As you can imagine it is not a good time of year for the Tracy's. It is so hard to see my brother this way with nothing to say to make him feel better. I think that the hardest part is the fact there are not many memories. Usually when you lose somebody you can talk about all the good times and bad times that you had together, but when things like this happen all you can do is wonder what could have been, and there is no end. Madisons 16th birthday, 18th, 21st? It's hard.

The funeral will be held at 11AM on Tuesday December 14th at the Westminster Church of the Nazarene on 104th and Federal. Everybody is welcome to attend, friends and family are the only thing that help in times like this and we have the best. I will also be calling and letting people know about it.

The latest

2004-12-09T15:08:00.000-07:00

Hello to all of our good friends and family members!

I thought that although many of you already know I should email
you all to make sure I have left nobody out. Very sadly Madison
had to be taken back in for additional open heart surgery last
night. When the Doctor opened her chest and started working he
started having problems working with the vessels because the tissue
in them was abnormal. The surgery which was supposed to take 4 to
6 hours lasted 9 hours and then she spent the entire night in the
CICU fighting for her life but having problem after problem. This
morning things started to look up when she started to stabalize but
it was short lived and within a matter of minutes she was crashing
and her heart, kidneys, and liver were all failing.

Ryan and I had to make a difficult decision about how much
suffering our baby girl should have to go through and let me assure
you it was a very difficult decision and one that we both felt God
was giving us the answer to. Athough they could have put her back
on the heart & lung bypass machine she had so much vessel disease
that they didn't see any way to fix the problem in the long term.
After watching her suffer and listening to what God had been
telling us we knew that it was OK to say goodbye and to let her go
without anymore pain & suffering.

I have never felt so much pain throughout my entire body at
having to make this choice but I believe that she is now in a much
better place where she can have that perfect body that she
deserves. At the end we were allowed to hold her to say good bye
and that is what we did. Slowly after we spoke to her and told her
it was Ok that we would see her in another time and place she
passed away peacefully. I don't know how we will ever possibly
overcome the grief that we are entrenched in at this time but I
know that just as he gave us the strength to let her go he will
give us the strength to make through this time. Minute by minute
and then maybe hour by hour. He will give us the strength that we
need.

All night as I prayed I kept one verse in mind that says "Do not be
afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you,
he will NEVER leave you or forsake you." I don't know why this one
verse kept coming to mind because to be honest when I was praying
all these months I had such a feeling of peace that God had
everything under control and then all of a sudden it didn't seem
like he was listening to any of our many prayers at all. But I
know that it's not true...with this verse he was reminding me that
he was still there and he was taking care of things. Although they
definitely were not in the way I would have chosen I do have that
same sense of peace that I originally had about where she is now.
I just keep praying now that we will somehow overcome our
tremendous pain.

I hope you all know what a blessing it has been to our family to
have such a strong group of support and prayer warriors on our
side. Even though it is hard to understand how God answered our
prayers I truly believe that he did in the way that he knew was
best. Please continue to keep our family in your prayers as we
struggle through this difficult process. Especially Tyler and
MAtthew as they are having a very difficult time understanding how
this could have happened.

My last request is that you forward this email to the many people
you know that have been praying for us. Unfortunately I do not
have the email adresses or even know the names of the thousands of
people who have been praying but I want them all to know what a
blessing they have been to us and how much we appreciate each and
every one.

Love and Blessing always,

Ryan, Jessica, Tyler, and MAtthew

>>My brothers birthday is on December 13th
>>and I would like to do something for him but
>>I'm not quite sure what, if anybody has any
>>ideas let me know. Also the funeral will be on
>>Tuesday December 14th at the Westminster
>>Church of the Nazarene on 104th and Federal.
>>More information as I get it.

Tracy family -1

2004-12-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

I know that I usually try and be funny and say funny things here but today is different, I must use it to pay my respects to the the late Madison Tracy. I only knew you for a short time and although you were the youngest, the next time we see you, you will be the oldest. You were greatly anticipated before you got here, greatly loved while you were here, and you will be greatly missed now that you are gone. I don't understand why things have to be this way but I do know that you are in a better place and we will meet again. It's so hard sitting here thinking about the things we could have done, how much fun we would have had, I just want to let you know that your uncle Randy will always love you and miss you and will never forget you. I'll see you in heaven.